oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize