So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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