So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize