Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
