whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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