Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
