i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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