You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
