If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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