i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
honey bunches of taint.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
