i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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