I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
