I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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