Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
