well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
