Me. At least after what I've been through.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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