Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
