I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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