my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
