Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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