it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
