dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
