I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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