he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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