Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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