I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
