Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
