Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
