its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
