I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
