i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
