Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
