All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
