Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Apparently you make a good broom.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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