Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
