Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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