so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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