let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
