woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
