Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
