JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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