so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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