I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
