Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
