I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize
