toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Welp...herpes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
