U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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