I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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