Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
