im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
