I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
