so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
