Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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