i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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