last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
