Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
