so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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