And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
