And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
