i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
